Levels
Depth of separation from everyday functioning. Some levels were built to hold ordinary life; others were built so that ordinary life would never reach them.
The system path
How we are built, and how we are rebuilding
Most of this path is restricted. What is public here is structure and language, never detail that could harm us or another survivor to encounter unprepared.
System design and layout
Levels, layers, and the inner lands
This is our working map: the overall design of our system, how the levels and layers sit in relation to one another, how operations and dynamics run, and where the inner lands lie against the outer world. Most of the detail stays private. What is published here is the shape of things, not the contents.
Layers
Structures stacked over each other, each with its own rules about what may be known, said, or carried upward. Undoing a layer means renegotiating those rules.
Inner and outer lands
The internal geography we move through, and how it maps onto the outside world — including safe places built by us, for us.
Operations and dynamics
Who fronts, who holds information, how switching happens, and what has changed since we began sharing and retaining information across the whole system.
Known colour coding of insiders
Colour was used as an organising language inside our system. We are reclaiming that language as our own — each colour now names a group of us rather than a function assigned to us.
- Emerald green
- Military green
- Dark green
- Black
- Red
- Yellow
- Light blue
- Air force blue
- Dark blue
- Gray
- Gray-blue
- Purple
Rainbow Valley — our safe place, made by us, kept by us
Restricted layer — passphrase required
Content warning: themes ahead may be moderately triggering. Proceed mindfully.
Behind this layer: detailed structural notes on levels and layers, how information moved between them, and the barriers we found in place. Written plainly, without graphic accounts.
Internal records
Programming and mind control, recorded plainly
What was installed, how it was held in place, and how it is being taken apart. We write this without drama and without detail that could harm another survivor to read. The full record lives in our private files and in our therapy work — not on a public page.
What was installed
Rules, roles, and internal instructions built during terror and torture. They were designed to run quietly, to look like our own preferences, and to keep parts of us from meeting.
How it was held
Separation between levels, loss of information between sessions, and the appearance of progress where none had actually taken hold. For decades this produced incomplete, fractured healing.
How it is coming apart
By telling insiders plainly that rules made during abuse are no longer valid in our present life, building real communication, retaining what we learn, and turning the roles we were trained for toward our own healing.
Deeply restricted — held privately
This layer is not published on this website.
Detailed disclosure about specific programming, structures, and the events surrounding them is kept in our private records only. It is not password-protected here because it is not here at all — that is the safest place for it, for us and for anyone who might otherwise stumble into it.
Nothing from this layer is published here. It stays in our private records, held between us and our therapist, and is written down elsewhere so it can be taken apart safely.